The Fatal Lesson

The day after Sophia’s senior year tryouts she walked down the hall to her coach’s door. For the first time there wasn’t an ounce of nerves. Her name was clearly at the top but there was something she found interesting; two freshman names were on the list. Sophia was really excited, she thought these two girls deserved to be on varsity but never thought her coach would give them a chance.  After telling them congratulations in the hall way she returned her focus to the first practice and the captains vote coming up. She knew she had proved herself to all of the returning varsity players but she needed to prove herself to the new girls.

During their first practice Sophia was sure to help all of the younger girls and encourage the skills they already had while teaching them anything they wanted to know. She felt confident and nervous as they all filed into her coaches office after practice was over. It was time for the vote. They were all handed a piece of paper and were told to write down one of their teammates names that they felt exuded the qualities needed to lead their team. They all turned them in and went home for the night. Sophia was tormented by having to wait a night for the results. The next day she went to school and could not think about anything but the vote. She looked at the clock in every class just waiting for the final bell to ring at 3:25. When it did she raced to get changed and ran out to the field. After the pre-practice team meeting, her coach made the big announcement.

Sophia was captain.

Most of her teammates were very excited but none more than Sophia. She worked very hard to uplift her team and be there for everyone. She was never more gratified than one time before a big game when the two freshmen, Kathryn and Meredith came and sat next to her. They wanted to say that they were so happy that she was their captain. They also confessed that they used to be scared of her because of her intensity. Sophia was shocked. They were scared of her on the field but quickly realized that she was a sweet and nurturing person that just loved to win. They loved her ‘go hard or go home’ attitude and really looked up to her.

Sophia loved that she had made an impact on them while also making them feel welcome. She prided herself on being able to bring her team together and welcoming everyone no matter their skill level, age, or personality. She loved the feeling of having a family on the field because it truly made for a more trustworthy and unified style of play. The team was doing really well and the first half of the season was coming to an end which meant spring break was close at hand. Sophia loved soccer but she also needed a break every once in a while and was looking forward to the down time. The day before they got out for spring break she told her team at practice that they should have fun, be careful, and at least touch a ball once every day so they didn’t come back rusty.

But the first day of spring break turned dark, quickly. 

Sophia was at home getting ready to leave for the beach the next morning when she got a call from a friend saying a red car with her high school soccer bumper sticker was wrapped around a telephone pole outside of her house. She made a few phone calls only to get varying news. She finally found out that one of the girls on the soccer team had been in a horrific accident with three other people in the car. Shortly after that she found out that one of the freshmen, Kathryn, was driving the car. The condition of most of the girls was grim, one walked away fine but the three others were at the hospital in critical condition. Sophia was shocked, devastated and scared. She cried in her father’s lap like she was four years old again. She didn’t understand how something so horrible could be happening to such an amazingly sweet young lady.

As the hours passed she kept getting updates from a friend of Kathryn’s family. The condition of the other two girls upgraded to serious. One had a broken femur and was in a medically induced coma. The other had a broken neck, although not paralyzed, was being placed into a “halo.” Kathryn though, was not breathing on her own and still in very serious condition. A day passed with only some change. The girl with the broken neck was now in stable condition and the girl in a coma was scheduled to be taken out of it later that day. Kathryn was still on life support.

Meanwhile Sophia was at the beach, waiting by her phone.

The girl taken out of the coma was now in stable condition but they were taking Kathryn, this sweet freshman girl off life support. Sophia again cried in her dad’s lap and said through tears, “life support is over-rated! She will live, she has to.” But about thirty minutes later, Sophia got the phone call that Kathryn was in fact dead. The rest of Sophia’s spring break was horrible. She was constantly looking up at the sky and the stars as if she would see something, a sign, anything. There was nothing. She had so many things running through her mind; she didn’t even know where to begin. Once spring break finally came to an end she was glad to be home but she knew that Monday at school was going to be rough.

As she walked into school Monday morning she went straight to her coach’s classroom and cried. He told her she didn’t have to go to class and she could meet outside at a big tree in the front where there were plenty of grief counselors waiting for her and all of the other students at her school. Outside were all of Kathryn and the girls’ friends, crying. She was talking to them and the counselors when she realized it was almost time for practice. She didn’t know if she had it in her but she knew the team needed her now more than ever.

As she made her way to the field she noticed there was not one dry eye among her teammates. The other freshman sat right next to Sophia holding her tightly. Her coach started by saying he had never been through anything like this and was in as terrible of a place as the rest of them. He then asked if we wanted to even have practice. But with the moral as it was Sophia knew it was not a good idea to leave each other. So she thought quickly and told her teammates before they went they needed to tell any good memory they had of Kathryn and the other freshman said quickly, to Sophia’s surprise, “I’ll start.” After she told a funny story another teammate chimed in and soon all of the tears turned into laughter and smiles. The coach then said “okay, let’s have practice and just play fun games.” So for the rest of the afternoon the girls had the best practice they had ever had and left feeling so much better than any of them could have ever imagined.

Later that week the team made shirts for Kathryn with her picture on the front and her number “2” on the back. They wore them as their warm up shirts of the next game and every game that followed. The first game back they played a team they weren’t supposed to beat. When they got to the field they were all in tears. They dedicated that game to her. Their team ended up winning 2-0. Not one girl didn’t have chills and know that Kathryn was there helping them score that magic “2”. There weren’t any smiles after the win and it was a quiet bus ride home but everyone felt good knowing she had never really left their side.

The rest of the season was tough and Sophia never made it to state but she learned the most valuable lesson she had learned to date; there are bigger, more important things in life. Sophia went on to be recruited by colleges, went on official visits, and practiced with college teams but she just burnt out. She chose to go to a bigger school and see what more there was to life but she would never forget all of the amazing things soccer had taught her and she never lost her love for the game.

The Run Cut Short

It was that special time of year. Sophia’s stomach was in butterflies. The latter half of the previous season went well for her so she was less nervous than usual. Her back was finally at full strength but her coach sat her out of the three mile run portion of try outs this year just in case. She found this odd since she felt fine but she wasn’t about to start complaining.

She didn’t have to run. This was a telltale sign that the coach already knew what Sophia could do and he didn’t need to see it. It was almost as if she had already made the team. The rest of tryouts flowed easily and by the end Sophia knew that her name would be on the varsity list, again. The next morning her name read bright and clear at the top of the piece of paper on her coach’s door.

Next, she started planning her goals for the season. This year she was more determined than ever. How she played would be the deciding factor of whether she would be captain the following year. As much as she was a team player, she wasn’t always going to be nice like she had in the past. She wanted to elevate her team to a new level. To do this she had to gain the respect of everyone, even the seniors. She also wanted to play more mid-field so that she could be the one creating more of the opportunities.

She wanted to be the key element.

The season started out well. Sophia was not only playing, she was starting. She had more confidence than she had ever had before and it showed. She was very vocal, lifting her teammates up when they were down. Even her style of play had changed; she took risks with the ball that she had never taken before. She was using the soccer field much like a canvas, creating what she loved; to win.

They faced a tough schedule this year full of games against top opponents. But her team seemed to really step up to the challenge by winning most of their games against teams ranked higher than them. Sophia knew they really had a chance to make the state tournament when they almost beat one of the top five teams. Sophia’s team was winning for most of the game until the last two minutes when the other team barely came back. The game ended in a two-two tie.

They could now taste state.

While Sophia didn’t score in that game, she walked away very proud that she assisted both goals. Her greatest achievement was catching the eye of the opposing coach. After the game he walked up to Sophia and told her that she was a great player with a lot of potential. His word meant a lot to Sophia because he was a well-known coach of a private school where they allowed recruiting from other areas in Georgia.

As the season went on Sophia began to be looked at by college scouts and was even asked to join a new travel team. Sophia was so excited; college scouts were beginning to come to her Saturday practices. While she was excited about this her focus was still on her high school season. There was a big game coming up. They were playing a team in their region that was very good, beatable, but good. The winner of this game would go to the state tournament.

The week before the big game Sophia faced an unexpected challenge; she came down with the flu. She was throwing up and very sick. She missed a week of practice but did everything she could to speed up her recovery. When the day of the game came she felt much better but was not 100 percent. Although her coach did not start her he put her in soon after the game got under way. She surprised herself by playing well and to her full ability.

But her team got behind.

Sophia was very confident that they could come back from a 2-1 deficit and began creating many opportunities, but they just weren’t turning into goals. She was fighting harder than she had ever fought, never wanting anything more. What happened next shocked everyone. The ball went out of bounds and the whistle blew. Her teammate came out on to the field and said “Sophia, you’re out.” Sophia stopped, looked at her coach and just stared. She thought it must be a mistake, but he motioned for her to come to the bench.

When she got to the bench she yelled, “WHY??? I’m fine.” Her coach replied with a parental, “I don’t want to push you.” He obviously didn’t realize her dedication. She was furious. She looked up at her dad in the stands and he knew exactly what she was thinking. Her coach kept her on the bench for the rest of the game. Sophia sat in agonizing pain watching her team as they lost the opportunity to go to the state tournament.

She was going to walk off the field without shaking hands but when she saw the look on her dads face she knew she had to turn around and do the right thing. After that was over she ran to the parking lot and sobbed. She said a few ‘not so nice’ things about her coach to her dad as he did his best to calm her down.

But Sophia had never been so mad in her life.

That was the end of the season. The only thing left was the end of the year team banquet. Sophia didn’t want to go to the banquet but she knew if she had hopes of becoming captain next year it would be best for her to put her anger aside and attend like a leader should. As her coach was giving out awards, she just knew she would be the most valuable player. When her name wasn’t called she sat silent and angry. She knew exactly why she didn’t receive it, because she was going to get the most honorable award instead, the coach’s award. Sure enough her coach said the most amazing things about her and announced that she was the glue that held the team together on and off the field.

Her father looked at her and said “if he only knew the things you said about him after that game.” And then they exchanged a smiled as she graciously walked up accept her award. Now it was time to put that season behind her. She had to turn her focus to making captain. Leading was in her blood and besides making state it was the last goal she set for her high school soccer career.

The Second Break

It was a bitter cold winter in Chamblee as Sophia sat out the required amount of time while she strengthened her arm back into shape. She worked very hard with her travel team to shake off the dust and cobwebs to improve her already impressive soccer skills. She was ready to go back to work and was determined more than ever to make the team again that year.

She had to make it.

When she returned to school for her sophomore year she learned that there was a new soccer coach for the girls’ varsity squad. This was exciting news for Sophia as it meant a possible new game plan. But before this year’s tryouts had even gotten underway Sophia had somehow managed to acquire the flu. She was beginning to think that she must be cursed. Fighting through the constant nausea and dizziness Sophia was hoping that the new coach, who had never seen her play and did not know her skill set, would be able to see her athletic prowess despite her recent run of bad luck.

She fought through the lingering effects of the illness to be present at tryouts but she was still afraid that it wasn’t going to be good enough. Thankfully her coaches did not share Sophia’s pessimistic point of view. When Sophia went to look at the varsity list the next day she was surprised to see her name near the top.

She couldn’t believe that she made it again.

After basking in the excitement and relief Sophia thought about what her goals should be for this upcoming season. This season she was determined to earn her starting position back, and once she had it back she was determined to never lose it again.

She participated in the preseason tournament but her previous coach of last year had obviously talked to her new coach and unfortunately she was only playing a few minutes a game. She was angry, she was sad, and those unpleasant emotions propelled her into decisive action. She begged her father to take her to a private soccer coach so that she could deepen her already impressive set of skills.

He obliged.

Sophia began a serious training regime. She worked with a trainer on the weekends and by herself every day after school in her back yard. Over time her commitment and dedication for improvement began to show. Her high school coach noticed her progress and she began playing more minutes. The more she played, the more her confidence grew. She began to feel like the leader she always knew she was.

The team ended the season with a mediocre record but Sophia knew that next year had to be different. She would use the off-season to prefect her skills. Or so she though…Sophia chose her favorite holiday to have all of her friends over her house for some teenage fun: Halloween. Most of her friends happened to be cheerleaders. In attendance were also all of her brother’s friends since they were only a grade apart.

So with guys and girls at her house, the front yard became a tumbling and tossing gym. Sophia asked one of her brothers’ friends, Robert, to hold her waist and launch her, while continuing to hold on, into the air; it allowed you to do a perfect toe touch. Sophia was in heaven attempting a sport she had always wanted to participate in.

The only thing was that Robert forgot to hold on. Sophia flew high into the air. Her friends were in awe at the height of her body. She heard “holy cow”, “WOAH”, “She’s too high”. This was all before gravity yanked her back down to earth.

SPLAT!

She landed, back first, flat on the grass. She was gasping for air and had never felt so helpless in her life. After she regained her breath, with the help of her friends, she walked inside and immediately put ice on her back.

Her dad had told them not to play outside so she decided not to tell her him what had happened and how much pain she was in. After a few days she could only feel the pain if she ran or did any sort of exercises. She didn’t think too much of it.  

Two days later Sophia went to her travel soccer practice and continued to play for two weeks. While she was playing she had a teammate crack her back before every practice and every game. Sophia didn’t want a doctor, a coach or her dad to tell her she had to stop playing so she continued to say nothing. She loved the game too much.

She scored two of the most amazing goals of her life and after that game her coach walked up to her and said, “Something is not right.” She looked at him and said, “What do you mean?” He said “You are being lazy with your shots. They look amazing but they are not you.” So she finally told him why she was being lazy and he asked her to go see a doctor. So after that game she confided to her dad about her pain. She listened to them and went to the doctor and got x-rays. What came next was devastating.

Sophia had broken her back.

X-rays revealed that her T-7 vertebra was chipped and that she would be out of soccer for three months. She started sobbing. Again, another season was shattered. The next day she got fitted for a full upper-body brace that she would have to wear for 23 hours a day. She only took it off to shower. Her only saving grace, it would be off in time for her junior season tryouts.

The First Break

This year Sophia would accept nothing less than making the varsity team. During the off season daily practice became a necessary requirement for Sophia because she knew that making varsity would not be as much of a breeze as making the JV squad. Try outs rolled around every year just as the autumn leaves would begin to litter the high school ground of Chamblee field. Sophia was poised, ready and confident.

This years tryouts went much like they did when she tried out for JV, this made her feel as if she did very well. Not only was the scrimmage again her favorite part, it was also her strongest moment. Afterwards the coaches told her that she excelled. Despite the critical praise heaped on her she was still unable to get a good nights sleep. She was worried that they would overlook her because of her youth and inexperience and she couldn’t help but focus on the fact that there was not one freshman on the varsity squad last year.

She was in for a restless night of wondering.

The next morning Sophia bounded upstairs to the coach’s office to view the lists. On that list were two freshman names: Sophia was one. She took a deep breath and a few tears rolled down her face. She was proud. None of her friends were surprised when Sophia informed them all of her incredible accomplishment, no one knew how big of a deal it was but then again none of her friends played soccer.

Sophia was the only starting freshman at the beginning of the season, specifically preseason. She did exceptionally well and scored several goals in her first few games at the varsity level. But as the season went on her coach formed a new game plan and Sophia wasn’t included. Each second she watched from the bench she became more and more devastated. The season ended and Sophia had a choice to make: Was she going to continue to fight or was it time to give up and follow another endeavor.

Sophia decided to keep fighting.

When the school season ended travel teams began. While in the middle of her travel teams season, Sophia was racing up the sidelines, pumping her little legs when a bigger stronger girl came up from behind her and maliciously fouled causing her to hit the ground hard.

Darkness. Nothing. Sophia was knocked unconscious.

As Sophia began to awaken she opened her eyes to see Anna, her teammate and two coaches from the opposing team yelling at the referee, they were accusing Sophia of faking her fall to the ground. Sophia sat up very slowly and gingerly and immediately began yelling at the coaches to shut up. After answering generic questions about who the president was and what year we were in she answered the question she was waiting for, “does anything hurt?”

Yes. Something hurt a lot.

Sophia quickly realized that she could not raise her arm above her chest. Her mom came over to the bench side of the sidelines and asked her if she needed to go to the hospital, she stubbornly replied no. Sophia sat in agonizing pain for the rest of the game because she refused to leave her team. The opposing players continued to call her a fake but deep down she knew that something was seriously wrong.

She went home and couldn’t even walk up a simple flight of stairs. Her mother came downstairs with a sandwich and said “mothers instinct, we’re going to the ER.” This time Sophia did not object. The ER doctors informed her that she had a broken collarbone and that she would have to miss soccer for the next six weeks.

Sophia began to sob; the rest of her season was over.

JV Try Outs

After making the traveling team Sophia set her eyes on a new goal, making the high school junior varsity team while she was still in middle school. In her district, if you were in eighth grade you were eligible to try out for the JV team. She really hoped to make this team but she had her doubts.

She was very intimidated by the high school girls that she knew were going to be at try outs. The big day came and after school Sophia got on the bus. On the way over to the high school she did all of her pre game rituals; yes she treated this like a game. She had retired the bandana once she made her travel team because it wasn’t cool anymore. Instead she got out her portable CD player and pumped her warm up music. She slid her shin guards in her socks and wrapped her laces around her shoes twice.

Nothing was going to stop her.

When she arrived at the high school field she absorbed the smell of the spring sir and newly mowed grass. She drowned out her nerves with the excitement a soccer field brought her; a new chance to show off, she thought. She sat in the bleachers like all of the other girls awaiting the coaches’ instruction. For the first half of try outs the girls did not touch a ball. First they stretched. After stretching was Sophia’s least favorite part, a three-mile run. She could run back and forth all day but it had no meaning if she didn’t have a ball at her feet, but she gave it her all. She finished some where in the middle of the first group.

Drills were next, which she always did well at, but there were so many sets of twos that the coaches couldn’t stay focused on any one player for any good amount of time. This made it very hard to be seen. The headers, passing, pivoting and dribbling drills were all a precursor to small scrimmages. This was Sophia’s favorite part. She did very well in game play and the coaches could truly see her abilities. This time they were only in two groups.

She wowed them.

She made the right passes and even scored on the varsity goalie. When she played defense she only let one ball past her and never allowed her man to score a goal. She played aggressively and never got winded. At the end of try outs the coaches thanked all of the players for coming out and told us that the teams would be posted on his door and on the middle school coach’s door tomorrow morning.

Sophia walked off the field feeling very good about her performance. She couldn’t wait until tomorrow. She barely slept. She tossed and turned all night. And when she finally did fall asleep she had a nightmare that her name wasn’t on the list. She got up early the next morning and when she got to school rushed over to the coaches’ office and ran her finger down the JV list until she hit Sophia!

She made it!

After a few practices with the JV team they were set to host their first game. Sophia was starting. She played offence and dominated. Not just the first game but everyone that follow as well. The whole season was hers. She scored a total of 28 goals, eight coming in one game, and only losing one by 1-0. She received the Most Valuable Player award at the banquet and could not have walked away from that season more elated.

Her next mission: varsity.

Finding her Love

Her teammates, coaches, family and friends knew the telltale sign was when her tiny, delicate hands reached for the red bandana. This, they had all come to know, was the most important part of her game day ritual. Then she would meticulously slip her shin guards into her socks while trying to contain a healthy dose of game day anxiety and excitement.

Her name was Sophia. She was six.

One can imagine the foreign feeling of having a ball at your feet when you were used to holding a bat in your hands and swinging at a ball. Having to switch from T-ball to soccer because of an older sibling was, at first, infuriating. Until, that was, the first time she stepped out on a soccer field. The smell of fresh cut grass, the expansive green lined fields, the constant movement and the challenge of using your legs and feet to control a round object was the immediate draw.

At her very first practice she was not only nervous about playing a new sport for the first time but also nervous about weather the other girls would be nice to her. As soon as the coach was done talking to the team, Sophia made a fast friend in Liz, the only other girl who was wearing a bandana. Hers was green.

Liz was not the only friend Sophia made. She found that all of the girls were relatable. They were all very nice and welcoming. She was surprised that all of the other girls were as nervous as her. Some were scared of the ball while others were scared of meeting new people.

She wasn’t alone.

Once we started playing games and learning the ropes, all of the nerves faded away and a new perspective was embodied by most of the girls. Oblivious to their parents standing on the sidelines they were running and screaming like they were at Disney World with no lines. At the end of practice she didn’t want to leave and wanted to take all of her new friends home with her.

Sophia got in her fathers car after practice and was beaming ear to ear. Her father asked her if she wanted to go back to playing T-ball and she quickly and passionately said NO! At the end of that season she realized that she would play the game of soccer until someone forced her off the field. She played almost every day for the rest of her childhood.

She joined a new league that was more competitive and quickly got very good at her new sport. After a few seasons she decided she was ready to try out for a travel team that was able to compete in tournaments, more importantly the state tournament.

She tried out and made it. 

A girl in a mans world

There were no Barbie's. There was no lip stick, (until later that is).


When every other girl my age was wearing dresses you couldn't get me out of sneakers and billed hats. It was more about the next black eye and who's stat sheet was perfect.


Always competing for who could figure out the new sports acronym first, my older brother, drilled in my love of sports.


After playing soccer and t-ball, I studied basketball and football. Wanting to learn more, keeping score sheets became my hobby.


Once I knew the ins and outs, sports journalism became my career of choice.


This time wearing dresses and heels.